At some point, you will let me go, and I will fall but you will be the one hurt.

I've been struggling a lot with this piece.
I think there's mental blocks that's keeping me.
1. I've began to question my art making process and its emphasis on the aesthetic
2. I'm getting bored of what I'm trying to say
2.1: maybe because I don't know how to say it
3. Do I even have anything to say?

I began this piece thinking it would be a faulty tower of sorts with magnets and forks and spoons and knives standing erect. I abandoned that idea 2 weeks into the project for several reasons, most of which are due to doubts caused by academic readings. I decided to approach the materials with somewhat news eyes, but instead I began to repeatedly hear what someone told me last year:

You know you'll eventually loose that interest in the aesthetics. Everyone becomes anti-aesthetic at some point.

So now as a result of an art school tantrum and pressure, I've come to what I think is my first anti-aesthetic piece. Although it's nowhere near done, it may well turn out to be my most aesthetic piece in the end.
I have big plans for it.
All the edges will eventually be sharp like the edge of a knife.
I'll also polish it to a shinier finish.
And the string holding it up will be strands of horse hair.
It's been a pretty convoluted process getting to this stage and I'm not entirely sure I know what I'm doing.
Here's my thoughts on this piece.
I see this piece as 2 separate bodies interacting; the horse hair and the square frame. The horse hair, which is only 6 strands thick, is holding up the square frame. But in that process the square frame is doing 2 things. It's straining the horse hair as it threatens to pull the hairs apart. While doing that, it also threatens to cut the horse hair with its blade when it grips the edge.
Although it seems that the square frame is completely dependent on the horse hair, I am intrigued by the dangerous play that the horse hair partakes in. Its dependence on the square frame is a questionable but defendable act.
This relationship, one of destruction and duel dependence built on issues of trust are all individualistic plains of exploration. This self referential attitude compromises the aesthetics that I often hold too heavy of esteem.

No comments: